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12 February 2010

AJ vs. The Mouse, Round 1


So, as some of you probably know, occasionally during the winter, I get to battle some small rodent (ie. The Mouse) who decides that living in my apartment is a good idea. I, on the other hand, am completely opposed to this idea. I am not a fan of mice. I don't get up on a chair and scream when I see one, but I do get the heebie jeebies and get totally freaked out. I should mention that I haven't seen the mouse that has decided to live with me this winter, but I did hear him or her last night.

I should probably share a couple of background stories just so that the current story makes sense. A few years ago, I arrived home late after a date, headed into the bathroom to get ready for bed, and saw a dead mouse floating in my toilet. I was not at all pleased to see this. I was also not sure how to go about dealing with this problem. So, I did the logical thing...I flushed. Of course...it didn't go down very well. In fact, it was a total floater...it didn't go down for several flushes. I'm sure my landlords were upstairs thinking, "geez, is she sick or something?" Finally, after a phone call to my mother (in the middle of the night), I got Mr. Floater to go down the toilet.

Fast forward, a few years...I woke up one morning, headed to the bathroom, wasn't really awake, sat down to pee, did my thing, stood up, turned around to flush, and noticed a mouse sitting above the water line in the toilet bowl...ALIVE! I'm pretty sure I said an adult word, freaked out, and slammed the toilet lid down. I didn't know what to do...I wasn't going to scoop up Mr. I Hang Out in the Toilet and let him go outside. What if he ran up my arm!?! I flushed...he didn't go down. I flushed again, all along feeling very sad that I was drowning a poor mouse that I had just peed on. He still didn't go down. At this point, I wasn't really sure what to do. He was soaking wet. I was totally doing the heebie jeebie dance. Finally, I just stopped looking. I think I flushed the toilet about 10 times before I left for work. He was gone when I finally lifted the lid. I felt bad all day, but was also glad to not have a roommate.

Fast forward again to last weekend. I arrived home from a conference to find the clean frying pan that sits on my stove full of mouse turds. This did not make me happy. In fact, I was totally grossed out and doing the heebie jeebie dance again. I scrubbed the pan 3 times, searched all over for more mouse turds, didn't find any and didn't find any other signs of mouse occupation. I was hoping it was just an anomaly. Well, when I arrived home from work yesterday, there was nothing on the stove, except mouse turds. This did not make me happy. I scrubbed the top of the stove, wrote a note to my landlord, and then was freaked out all night.

I should mention that I have not seen this mouse, but I do know that it exists. At about 10:30pm last night, I was hungry so I had a couple of string cheeses. I usually just set the wrappers beside my bed and then throw them away in the morning. This lets me stay warm in bed. However, last night, I decided that since there was obviously a mouse living in my apartment, it probably was not a good idea to leave food wrappers on the floor, so I got up and threw them in my bedroom trash can. Apparently, that was not a good idea either. At about 12:30am, I heard wrappers rattling around and woke up, TOTALLY FREAKED OUT! I couldn't find the lamp turn on switch, part of me was thinking that I was dreaming, the other part of me was like, "REALLY...THERE IS REALLY A MOUSE IN MY BEDROOM!" I finally got the light turned on, didn't see anything, but did notice that the string cheese wrappers were no longer in my garbage can. So, yes, there really was a mouse in my bedroom last night.

I spent the rest of the night lying in bed, freaking out, being creeped out, wondering where the mouse was living, wondering why the mouse was in my house at all, worrying that the mouse was living in my wetsuit under my bed, worrying that the mouse was going to crawl up on my bed and sleep with me...you know, all of the typical things that keep you awake at night.

Round 1 definitely goes to the mouse. I'm totally bothered by the fact that he is living in my house. I did leave a note for my landlord saying, "Hey, there's a mouse in the apartment." I'm hoping that when I get home today after work that it will all be taken care of. I'm also considering going to the store and buying the mousetraps that keep the carcass all tucked in and out of sight. Of course, if I do that, I'll have to buy some armpit length rubber gloves, an extra long pair of tongs or a shovel, and I'll still probably be dry heaving as I try to dispose of this stupid little pest.

P.S. I should also mention that Tim seems to think all of this is very funny. He's expressed interest in seeing the heebie jeebie dance, as well as the hillarity of watching me deal with a mouse carcass. I told him that when we get married, it will be his job to deal with the mice. I also told him that I really would prefer not living in a place that has mice problems at all.

5 comments:

Sarah said...

We had mice in our house in Maryland. I totally hear you. Initially, hubby did the humane trap thing and let the mice go when they were caught. Then one day he thought one looked familiar, as if it was a repeat guest, so he went for a more ruthless plan. I was always afraid I'd go downstairs in the morning after he left and have to deal with a mouse trap he forgot about. Thankfully, it never happened. Good luck!

See You at the Finish Line said...

Thank you for putting a smile on my face with this humorous story! I suppose it wouldn't be a good expression of empathy if I side with Tim on this one - however, it is quite funny!

It's partly your fault that I'm siding with Tim - if you didn't tell such a great story with such vivid description, I might have a different response.

I'm sorry that Round One went to the mouse. "He who laughs last laughs best." I'm guessing Round 2(the final round) will go to you.

Madison has a great little storybook entitled "The Mouse in the House". It comes with a little mouse on string, that you put through cracks on the pages as the mouse runs all around the house, including up Mr. B's nightshirt. Oooh, maybe I shouldn't have shared that story. :)

Barb said...

Too funny, AJ. But really, you vs mini mouse! Bet a nickel that s/he is more afraid of you than you of it!!
Thanks for the chuckle.

tim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tim said...

Seems that i've never seen AJ dance before, I did tell her that I would have a really good laugh at the "heebie jeebie" dance. Oh how I wish I could just have captured all these events on a hidden camera including the "heebie jeebie" dance.

Oh, please! please! takes pictures of the rubber gloves that go all the way up to your arm pits and tongs...maybe get a rubber toxic suit to wear and safety goggles too...

Good luck babe! It's about the best I can do for you for now ;-)