The Pre-Shoot

Back when Tim and I decided to get married, we decided that we wanted to take the majority of the wedding pictures before the actual wedding. I've been to enough weddings where the guests have to stand around waiting for the couple to finish taking pictures that I decided that I didn't want to make my guests go through that, so on May 19, we headed down to Layton to get a bunch of pictures taken with our photographer Chris from Robert Wood Photography.

I should probably mention that I actually didn't really enjoy this experience all that much. Tim and I drove down to Layton and arrived a bit early to get ready. My parents were on their way down to St. George so they stopped and my mom helped me get dressed. I should mention that I didn't wear any sort of special lingerie to boost my bust or hide my hips, which was a huge relief. After I was ready, I walked out to the car to say hi to my dad and my cute niece and nephew, and then I got yelled at by a woman who didn't want me tracking dirt back into the freshly cleaned Victorian house we were taking pictures at. I wanted to say, "Geez lady, don't you think I'm being careful in my WHITE dress to not pick up dirt to track anywhere" but I didn't. Getting yelled at before getting your pictures taken is really not the best way to start off the whole photo shoot experience.

Finally, it was time to start. We took some pictures inside and then headed outside. We walked all around the yard and got a variety of pictures and then I asked when we were heading to the Great Salt Lake to take our beach pictures. The photographer just looked at me funny...like what are you talking about. I (and Tim) distinctly remember talking to the photographer twice about taking pictures at the beach, but apparently, once again, I'm the world's worst communicator because he had no idea what we were talking about. So, no beach pictures.

We finished the shoot and then headed back to Logan with a dvd of the pictures. When we arrived back at Tim's place, we pulled them up and started looking through them. They were SO BORING! They looked like stock wedding photos...nothing exciting...nothing candid...just boring. I should also say that they were great pictures, but they were just not what I wanted and of all of the things I wanted for my wedding, GREAT PICTURES were at the top of the list.

So, after mulling it over for a few days, I e-mailed Chris the photographer and expressed my concerns. I was a little worried that he might take my e-mail negatively but he was awesome and actually thanked me for letting him know so that he could make the necessary changes for the wedding day. Phew... We still haven't got the wedding pictures back yet, but here are some of Tim's favorites from the pre-shoot. Enjoy!

The Wedding Week

Because my life is never normal, in spite of living in Normal, IL for 8 years, and because we keep having crazy adventures, I figured I should probably jot down some of the madness. So, here's some of the craziness that has been happening...

Sunday

A goat showed up at my parents house...a small white goat. My cute nephew John, came running in the house and said, "Grandma, where did you get your goat?" My mom said, "What goat?" John said, "The white goat that's tied to the hitch on Grandpa's truck." Yes, indeed there was a goat tied to the back of my dad's truck. It proceeded to poop and pee on the driveway. **Note to self - powerwash driveway before Saturday** We all just stood around wondering what to do with the white goat who had a pink flowery collar. However, the goat was taken away and we no longer have to deal with that. Tim did ask when the elephant would be delivered.

Monday

I think Monday was fairly uneventful, except for the wonderful people who kept calling and said, "Hey, we're coming to the wedding and bringing guests!" This caused much stress and money to be spent as well as many phone calls to try and get everything we needed for the 125 guests. We were planning on 85-100... Apparently, Tim and I are very loved.

Last week, my dad received 100 quail in the mail. Yes, he ordered 100 baby quail that we have been taking care of. We actually have about 75 now since some of them have died. Anyways, apparently, when birds are stressed they get what is called "butt pasting". This is where their poop chute gets pasted over with poop. So, Monday morning, my mom and I were late for work because we had to catch 75 small quail and wipe the poop off their bums. Yes, I have wiped quails bums... Anyone else had that experience?! Anyone?!

My dad got to ride the lawnmower down into the canal. I guess the back wheel slipped and down it slid. My mom got to help him tow it out with the truck...the same one that had a goat tied to it the day before.

Tuesday

We woke up to rain. Yes, it rained all morning on a day with a 30% chance of rain. We were planning on doing all of the yard work, as well as painting the firebowls. Nope, instead my mom, Tim and I got to run all over Logan looking for stuff for the surprise guests! We also picked up the limbo pole, a new plant (I can't seem to stop buying plants!), lots of stuff that we need to finish up projects for the wedding that sort of thing. Finally, the sun came out in the afternoon and we got to mulch the yard.

I met my future mother-in-law.

Wednesday

Today was a BUSY day! Tim and I went to the temple in the morning and then drove down to Brigham City to drop off his mom's cell phone. Then he went to work and I headed home to take orders from my mom regarding a million different things. We worked on stuff around the yard and pressure washed the house. We went shopping for some of the food. My dad tilled the garden and then washed off the pressure washer on the lawn which did not make my mom happy. I played with my cute nephew Cole while my wonderful sister in law washed windows. Tim and I worked on the getting the cupcake tower put together. The tiki bar was built. The hammock was painted and dropped off. Tables were picked up. It was just busy.

Thursday

Today started off with an early morning trip to the shooting range. Tim and I drove out to the range at Newton Dam and shot off alot of rounds. I especially had fun with the James Bond gun. On the way home, we started to make stops at different stores picking up different stuff. My mom had some friends and neighbors (Thank goodness!) putting up twinkle lights on the trees and shrubs in the yard. We painted the sandbox. We finished the cupcake tower. We ran the power for all of the "stuff" in the yard. We put twinkle lights on the hammock. Oh and this all ended at about 10:30pm.

Friday

Friday was a super busy day. Mostly it just consisted of lots and lots of running around. We did lots of errands, picking up my freshly pressed wedding dress, setting up the yard, buying 100 sets of silverware, dealing with a million people asking a million questions, packing my stuff to move to Tim's house, wiping poop off of 75 quail bums, making lomi lomi, helping my dad with food prep, etc etc etc. It was definitely busy...busy enough that I slept great the night before I got married.

We'll Charge You with Fraud!

When I was writing about my wedding dress fitting, I hinted at another story that needs to be told...I'm sure my mom will be thrilled about this one. :)

On Monday, May 10, I was hanging out at Tim's house and my mom called me. She was very upset and said, "I need your help." I asked what was going on and she proceeded to tell me the story. A few months ago, she and my dad joined a produce co-op called Bountiful Baskets. They've been ordering a basket each week for $15 that contains a TON of fruits and vegetables of all sorts. It's pretty much a cornucopia (always wanted to use that in a sentence on my blot) of goodness and they're loving it. However, there have been some major hang-ups with the website. My dad has been frustrated and since he was working, it was my mom's turn to place the online order...

Well, she went to the website and tried to order her 3 baskets. There were issues with her debit card, with her security number, and each time she tried to place an order it would say her cart was empty. Now, apparently she kept clicking...kinda like my little neice Kate does which eventually crashes the computer. The computer didn't crash, but when my mom checked her e-mail, she saw that she had ordered 30 baskets! Yes, 30 baskets...like $600 worth of produce!! At this point she called me and told me the story and my response was not unexpected. I started laughing...and laughing...which did not make her happy. When I finally stopped laughing, I told her to send the basket people an e-mail explaining what happened, and go to the credit union to stop payment on the order. The orders were placed literally 2 minutes apart so I was sure any reasonable thinking person would understand that there were some issues and it was an honest mistake. I should have remembered that most people in the world are not reasonable people...

The next morning, the day of the wedding dress fitting, my mom was at the credit union when it opened and explained her situation. She found out that her orders had all processed...bummer. She asked if there was any way to get in touch with the basket people and so the credit union called them. When my mom talked to the woman in charge, she received some very rude feedback..."How do you expect me to be a stay-at-home mom to 3 children and answer every phone call and e-mail regarding the baskets?" You know...that sort of thing. She told my mom that out of 12000 orders that day, my mom was the only one with a problem and that she would have to buy the baskets.

In the meantime, the president of the credit union came out and asked if there was anything he could do. My mom explained her story again, including the part about the rude basket lady and he volunteered to make a call. I guess the lady was rude to him and told him that if my mom put a stop payment on the account that my mom would be charged with fraud! The bank president said that he would do everything in his power to put them out of business if it were him, but my mom said that she would try to sell the baskets and if she couldn't they would take them to a food bank and write them off.

So, the phone calls started...she called everyone she knew who might be interested and thanks to my wonderful sister-in-law Karen, who sold 15 was able to sell all the baskets. Now the tricky part was how to pick up a semi-load of produce! In my head, I had this visual of pickup trucks driving down the road with produce piled high and leaves falling out. My mom figured that 3 trucks ought to work, so she started making arrangements.

In the meantime, back at the Bountiful Baskets headquarters, a realization occurred...apparently, there was a flaw with ordering on their website. Really?! No way!! People at a variety of sites had ordered ALL of the baskets at the site...like 1 person ordered over 100 baskets...unintentionally. So, they decided to refund multiple orders, which would have been good news, except that my mom had already sold her baskets. In sort of a miraculous way, my mom ran into the coordinator for the site where she was picking up her baskets, and made arrangements to volunteer and get all of her crazy-ness picked up and get all 30 of her baskets. We then had people picking up baskets at our house on Saturday morning.

So, yes, my mom was told she was going to be charged with fraud. We kept teasing her that she would be spending my wedding day in jail for clicking too much with the cha-ching of dollars ringing away in the background. Who knew that you could go to jail for a poorly designed website and rude customer service?

P.S. Yes, my parents are considering switching to a different produce co-op. I think it's called Click2PickProduce.

Incredibly Awesome Day

This is where I got to spend my morning on Saturday, May 22, 2010. It was awesome and incredible and amazing and wonderful! Thanks to all of my family and friends who were able to be there with me!

The Wedding Dress Fitting Story

So, I have a whole bunch of writing I need to catch up on...not sure when that will happen, but hopefully soon. In the meantime, here's my latest adventure. To set the stage, I'll remind you of what my wedding dress looks like.





I arrived in Utah on Monday, May 9 and went to my dress fitting on Tuesday, May 10. Apparently, all of the stress of moving and finishing the school year and transition and whatever paid off with a whopping gain of fat around my fat places. I went to Bed Bath and Beyond to buy a Shape and Lift body shaper. Supposedly this will make me up to 3 sizes smaller. Mostly it resulted in a wrestling match as well as some adult words. I figured that anything would help because I need to fit into my dress.

Tuesday morning my mom and I (this was after my mom was told she was going to be charged with fraud...like I said, I have alot of writing to catch up on) headed to Smithfield to see Lucy the seamstress. Of course, she's a tiny beautiful asian woman because who else would you expect to alter a wedding dress. We go inside her house and she tells me to put on the dress. I wrestle with the stupid blankety-blank body shaper and finally get it on...only to find that my dress is INCREDIBLY tight around my hips...like I can't zip it up. In my head I'm thinking, why in the world did I eat and eat and eat and eat instead of starve myself. I just came out from behind the curtains and said "I need help with the zipper."

We finally get the zipper done up and then she starts her critique. It was a very self-esteem building experience. She proceeded to take up the dress in the top because I have no boobs. She then says, "You really need to wear a pushup bra." In my head I thought, "Really?! Because the one I have on already is not working good enough?! Would you like me to try 2?" She then says, "You picked out a bootie dress. Good for your body type. We need to take in here to show off your big bootie." In my head, "Thank you. Thank you for pointing out that I have a big huge bum. Thank you for telling me that my dress makes my bum look bigger." (Except I'm pretty sure that bum wasn't the word going through my head at the time.)

After this great body image building exercise, I took the dress off, got the stupid body shaper that didn't even work (it's going back to Bed Bath and Beyond), and went out to the car. My mom was working on not getting charged with fraud and we headed down to Layton to do some shopping and to pick up the dishes we're using for the wedding. We went to Victoria's Secret to find an even bigger pushup bra, but hey...guess what...they discontinued the size that I need. We talked to my mom's friend who offered to let me borrow her bustier with extra padding. I kept thinking...geez, isn't this false advertising for poor Tim. Of course, the bustier didn't fit me either. Yes, I was having a great day of everything saying, "hey you're a big fatty!"

So, the next day Tim and I went to find some sort of something for me to wear under my dress that will make me look busty. I'm not sure that's even possible. Perhaps I should say we looked for something to make me look less like a completely flat chested person with a big butt. I found something that will work. Tim offered to help me put it on. He was joking. I turned bright red and told him to go sit back on the chair in the bra section of Dillards. Of course, the chair is right in front of the cube with all of the fake boob padding thingies. He says, "Hey...look...maybe you should try these." These ended up being water filled pads. I told him I wasn't going to be hugging people and have them hear the "gurgling" of my fake water filled boobs. We did find something that works...I think. The dress fits. I have fake boobs. Oh and I still have a big bootie. Life is good.

Inspiration for the Day

Here's an inspirational video I thought you all might enjoy!

My New Life

Surprise!

Last night, my students and colleagues planned a surprise going away party for me! I was very surprised and very touched at all of the people (not all pictured) who showed up for fried chicken and cake. It is definitely going to be VERY hard for me to leave ISU and all of these fantastic people.