Christmas with the Elwoods

I was going to post this yesterday, but I had a MEAN case of food poisoning, involving issues at both ends of my food chain, so instead of blogging, I spent much time lying in bed or worshiping the toilet.  Definitely not how I planned to spend Tim's day off or the day after Christmas.

However, Christmas this year was awesome.  Tim and I spent Christmas Eve with my parents, and brothers and their families.  We ate appetizers and played games and I watched the Sound of Music with Cole.

Christmas morning, I woke up early, like I always do and got ready for church.  Because I sang in the choir this year, I had to be their early.  Unfortunately, that also meant that Tim got to come to church and sit by himself.  I love having Christmas on Sunday.  I love being able to start the day off feeling the spirit and really focusing on the true meaning of Christmas.  The program at church this year was fantastic and it definitely set the tone for the rest of the day.

After church, Tim and I headed over to my parents with Kona to have gingerbread waffles.  We love them but they are SO rich that I'm glad we have them only once a year...except that Tim and I made them for the kids yesterday too.  We got to watch Cole play with his new kitchen that my parents made for him.  He loved it and when Karen asked him how much he said, "46."  I have no idea what that means, but it was cute.

We came home and I sort of took a nap while Tim played a game on the Xbox.  The kids arrived around 2pm and we had Christmas at our house.

Kona even got to join in the fun and opened some presents and even shredded a box...his favorite thing to do!

Rylan LOVED his Pittsburgh Steelers tshirt!  In fact, I'm pretty sure he's been wearing it since he put it on Sunday afternoon.  I'm really hoping I can talk him into taking it off today so I can wash it.

Tim got a couple of new hoodies, a tool bag, a flashlight, and a few other things.  The only thing I was able to surprise him with this year was the 12 days of Christmas.

The demon dog made a few appearances.

Kyra got a new snowboard and some snowboard boots so she's all set for snowboarding this season...if we ever get some snow.

I got some super duper huge cookie sheets (Tim wants me to bake more...), as well as some other baking stuff, Sister Dalton's new book, and my personal favorite, a pair of super cute cowboy boots.  I don't have a picture of the boots yet, but I love them!  Tim said that we're turning into "cow" people, but I have no idea what that means.

After presents, we headed back to my parents for dinner.  My Dad made a delicious stuffed pork tenderloin and we had salad and baked potatoes and it was so fun.  Then we played games and it was time to go home. 

We decided to watch "A Christmas Story" and that went pretty well.  I ate some leftover 7 layer dip (hence the food poisoning) while Tim and the kids had candy and popcorn.  Apparently, I should have skipped the dip and eaten the candy.

Anyways, we had a WONDERFUL Christmas and I'm sad that it's all over.  I guess now it's time to move on to the next thing!

Being a "Wicked" Stepmom

There are alot of ideas out there about who or what a stepmom is.  Honestly, in my head, I picture the typical "wicked stepmother" from all of the Disney movies.  I even joke with Kyra and Rylan about being their "wicked" stepmom, especially when I'm bugging them about doing chores or telling them "no".  However, I think that being a stepmom is a unique experience and its probably one of the harder aspects of my life to explain to people.

A few weeks ago, I was visiting with a friend and we were talking about raising kids and the challenges that come along with that.  She asked me if I felt like I had changed since I got married and became a stepmom.  I thought about it for a moment, and then replied, "Nope, I don't think so."  She was surprised and asked me why I thought that.  How in the world could I not have changed?!

I told her that before Tim and I got married, we sat the kids down and talked to them about my role as their stepmom.  I explained to them that they already have a great Mom and that I was definitely not going to try and replace her.  I told them it was completely and totally fine to call me AJ and that I would probably find it a little weird if they called me "Mom."  Tim and I talked with them about our "House Rules" and asked them for input.  We, especially I, tried to be very very upfront about my expectations because I feel like if everyone is not on the same page with expectations, we're setting ourselves up for some major upsets.

I honestly feel like having this conversation was really key to making our family work.  It also helps that all of the parents and step-parents are on the same page about raising Kyra and Rylan and that there is communication going on between all of us.  The schedule of when we have the kids is pretty normal, and we can make it to all of the kids activities because we all live within 10 minutes of each other.  So, really, we have the best worst-case scenario.

All of this is what I explained to my friend about why I don't think I've changed since Tim and I were married.  However, I've given that question alot more thought.  I even talked with Tim about it and he agreed that I haven't changed since we've been marrried.

Probably alot of that has to do with getting married at age 31.  I think I had plenty of time to figure out who I am and my personality is pretty set.  I also think that because I'm a fairly laidback person...probably the most laidback person who lives in our home, I don't really feel the need to change much since how I am works.  Does that even make sense?

Anyways, there are alot of really great things about being a stepmom and I thought I should probably take the time to list them because, like I said earlier, its difficult to explain what being a stepmom is like.  So, here's my list.

1.  Part-time kids.  :)  How awesome is it to be able to have kids and then send them back to their other family?  We really look forward to having the kids come and all of the noise and chaos and taxi-driving and laughter and fighting and fun that comes with them.  I think we probably enjoy this much more because it's not the typical daily thing for us.

2.  Being able to support Kyra and Rylan in all of their activities and "stuff."  How cool is it to watch kids be successful?  While driving around to soccer practice and back and forth to scouts and Young Women and track/cross-country practice, is not my favorite way to spend my time, I think seeing Kyra and Rylan achieve goals and develop their talents is awesome!

3.  Not having the "serious" role of parent.  Because I'm not "mom," I think Kyra and Rylan open up to me more about stuff going on.  I've learned that the best place to get them talking is in the car.  I think that's because there's no confrontation going on at all.  I'm looking at the road and paying attention to what's going on around me, while they're looking out the window and just chattering away.  I also think they share stuff with me that they maybe wouldn't share with Tim, although I share it with him, because they know I'm not going to react.  I'm not a "reactor" so I sometimes wonder if they test info out on me, just to see what the response will be.

4.  Having instant teenagers.  I don't have to deal with poopy diapers, or whiny toddlers, or teach someone how to tie their shoes (I can hang out with my cute niece and nephews if I feel the need to play with small humans.)   I do have to deal with picky eaters and nagging people to take showers and wear clean clothes. I don't have to teach Kyra and Rylan how to behave...mostly.  That's all been taken care of.  So, really, I just have to set an example and followthrough on my expectations.  I'm pretty sure I missed the "nurturing/motherhood" line in heaven, so dealing with teenagers works for my personality.  Oh and I don't have to put leashes on them in stores or yell at them to watch for cars or make sure they don't catch themselves on fire or stick a fork in a wall socket.

5.  Being able to have "adult" children in 7 years!  How cool is that!  By the time I'm 40, Rylan will be done with high school and we'll be able to move on to the raising adult children phase of our lives.  That brings a smile to my face.  :)

Being a stepmom is great!  I wouldn't recommend it to everyone, but I would say that if you're wondering about taking on someone else's kids, being a stepparent is not as bad as it seems.  You probably just need to go into the experience with your eyes wide open.  At least for me...

Oh and one more great thing about being a stepmom, hearing your stepdaughter introduce you to her friends saying, "This is my stepmom AJ and she's awesome!"  Who wouldn't want to hear that?

Kyra and Cross Country Regionals

This afternoon, Tim and I had the opportunity to see Kyra compete in a regional cross country meet from Logan High School. This may not seem like such a big deal, but there is definitely more to this story.

As long as I've known Kyra, she has despised running. I don't mean disliked...I mean hated running with every fiber of her being. Any time the topic of running came up, her mood turned immediately sour. So, I'm sure you can imagine our surprise when Kyra came home at the beginning of the school year to tell us that she had joined the cross country team.

I couldn't believe it. What in the world was she thinking?!? Why in the world would anyone who truly despises running join a running team?!? Especially the CROSS COUNTRY team?!? Tim and I talked about it. He said that if that's what she wanted to do, then let her do it, but she was not allowed to quit.

So, over the past several weeks, Kyra has been staying after school to run. She doesn't run fast. In fact, she is the slowest runner on her team. However, she has continued to train and work hard. Last week, we saw her run at a meet at SkyView High School. She came in last place and was even lapped by the guys.

Over the weekend, Kyra was super wound up and worrying about the meet today. She was putting all sorts of pressure on herself (unnecessarily) and was actually pretty difficult to be around. She kept talking about running well today. I decided to share a story with her.

When I was in 10th grade, I had a friend talk me into trying out for the softball team. I didn't really like softball. I was already playing volleyball and basketball and it was kinda nice to have the spring off. She really didn't want to go to tryouts by herself, so she convinced me to just go with her and I, being the super nice friend that I am, said, "Sure." Well, she didn't make the team, but I did. I have no idea how. My first year, I rode the pine. My batting average was .000. I didn't play hardly ever. Seriously... However, I worked hard and showed up and cheered like a crazy person. My second year, I was playing first base and if I remember correctly, I started every game. My batting average went up, but still wasn't great. I had improved tremendously. My senior year, I batted over .400 and was on the state all-star team. I explained to Kyra that you don't get good in one season. Performing better requires lots of hard work and dedication and determination. It requires stick-to-it-tivness.

Kyra is one of the most stubborn people that I know; although I still have her beat. The tricky thing is that she typically doesn't use her stubborn powers for good. She told me that she wants to become a better runner. She wants to lose weight and become faster. I told her that I could help her do that...but she can't expect it to happen overnight...or in one week, or in one season. If this is what she wants, then she's going to have to spend MONTHS working towards it. This is when she decided that she wants to do the Ogden 1/2 Marathon in May 2012.

Fast forward to today...we saw Kyra before the start. Her and her friend Harriet barely made it to the start when the gun went off. The rest of the girls took off and Kyra was in last place. I went back to the car to get the super cute flowers we got for Kyra (gorgeous red gerber daisies and yellow tiny mums that looked like miniature sunflowers). I caught Kyra walking, so I yelled at her "Get going!" Then I went and found Tim. We waited for Kyra and we waited for Kyra and we waited for Kyra. There were girls finishing the race and we hadn't seen Kyra yet at all. We started to wonder if she quit. How was it taking so long?

Then we saw her...jogging along. She kept going and she even pushed herself up this hill.

She jogged past us on the road.

She headed out for the rest of her run. Tim and I yelled to her "don't quit" and I yelled "no more walking". We headed back towards the center of the course to wait for her to run by. I'm pretty sure that she got lost, which has happened in all of her races this year, because next thing we know, she comes up to us and has been finished "for awhile." She may or may not have cut the course short.

The moral of this long story is that Kyra didn't quit. She did something that was SUPER HARD for her. She stuck with it. She even wants to run cross country again next year. And she wants to train for a 1/2 marathon. I can't wait to start the training... *insert evil laugh*

Needless to say, we are SO PROUD of her! She proved to herself that SHE CAN DO HARD THINGS! What a great thing to be able to say about herself! I think that the feeling of self worth that comes from running (or whatever challenging activity you enjoy) will always always always improve your view of yourself. I'll be sure and provide updates on how her running is improving.